The Calm Before The Storm

This was the first weekend in a long time that i was able to stay home for BOTH days.. which was good because.. ( i know i've probably said this before but..) this will be the busiest month of my life..

finally the dream has been realized.. i will be 2nd A.D. for the next movie of Direk.. and i'm really excited.. he hasn't done a movie since the filmfest of last year so he's pretty eager to get back in the game himself.. it'll be a horror flick.. and from the first drafts of the treatment it looks pretty promising.. very pinoy BUT without the cheese that goes with it.. it wont be shake rattle and roll, i promise you that.. hehehe

So i guess in the end.. the gamble paid off.. but was it worth it?

i dunno.. maybe.. maybe not..

but it's something that i know for a fact that i need to find out for myself..


MY SPACE

if anyone is a member, you can add me up.. http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1097087
pretty cool.. lots more options than Friendster.. but i'll prolly never use em hehe...

i didn't wanna sign up in friendster before.. i always found it kinda corny.. chuck and grace were very kulit about it even.. eventually i did.. well.. my ex took the liberty of signing me up.. then thats when i saw why it was so popular.. i didn't sign up so much to meet people, but i was able to get in touch with friends i had lost touch with for TEN YEARS... i thought that to be truly amazing.. so for all its "kabaduyan" and all that.. to me, friendster proved its worth..

wanna add me? hehe

The Question

"I'm gonna ask you a question.. and it's a good one okay? So think about it.. When two people love each other.. REALLY love each other.. but they just can't seem to get it together.. When do you get to that point where enough is enough?"


"Never."


- The Mexican (2001)


Do you believe that? I do. Or at least.. I used to. After watching the movie "The Mexican", that was the resounding question that rang through my mind. I think anyone who has ever been in a relationship has asked themselves that very question at one point or another. How much is a person actually supposed to endure? Who determines if its not working anymore?

I used to believe in the "love will conquer all" philosophy.. "If its meant to be, its meant to be.." & and all those other quotes people send through the cell phone.. Then it bit me in the butt. I've gotten burnt by love so badly.. That I doubt I'd ever feel that same way about a woman ever again.. Which is sad because that's something I was really proud of.. There aren't very many things I'm very good at.. I suck at math. I cant draw. I don't dance. But there's one thing I know for sure...

Loving her is something I know I did right.

I did it truly, and purely.. I gave everything I had.. Sure, I know it wasn't perfect, but I also know that I wasn't all that horrible either.. and that is why when I lost her the first time, I felt lost.. I didn't know who or what I was supposed to be anymore.. Now that its over, I'd be lying if I didn't say.. That not a day goes by since we separated that I do not think of her.

that's right. I still think about her. Everyday. I wonder what she's doing.. If she has enough to eat.. If she gets home safely.. Those little things that made my day complete when I find out she's ok.. Yes, I do miss her dearly..

But what's done is done.

Some words when spoken...Can't be taken back...

I would describe the way I handle the first break up.. Much like a kid who wanted to go play, but his mother wouldn't let him, until he cleaned his room. Instead of placing his toys neatly into his shelves, he stuffed everything into his closet, without bothering to sort it out. With much effort, he was able to shut the door, locking away all his mess. Then after awhile, once that door is opened again, everything just came bursting out, leaving the little boy in a pile of toys to sort out. That is what happened to me. I said I had to get her back, and deal with the ramifications later. The thing is, when it was time to face the problems.. Even when I had her already.. It was too difficult to sort out.. I didn't know where to begin.

He Who Forgets, Will Be Destined To Remember..

Where do I go from here? Well.. I'm not all lost.. I don't want to come off as a victim or anything.. In fact, the truth is, I'm enjoying how my life is going now.. but is it the same? No. Nowhere near the VICINITY of the term "The same". Is it bad? Not at all.. Just different..

But am I truly happy?

Now THAT'S the question.

GGGRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had a really long post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A Story i've been writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Typed up the Prologue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Computer rebooted just before i pressed PUBLISH POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Happy Birthday JCT


Please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you have meant to me.

He Who Must Not Be Named is.....

Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire looks to be another blockbuster for Warner brothers.. and i'm really excited about it.. the role of Valdemort is extremely crucial.. thats why i went bonkers when i found out this morning that the role went to.. none other than Ralph Feinnes!!!!! In my previous posts, i mention him as someone perfect to play Sirius Black.. but now that i think about it.. he'd an even better VALDEMORT!

i cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of the Dark Knight...

I saw the teaser trailer of "Batman Begins" last week.. and it looks pretty impressive.. i've always liked teasers that dont give out too much.. or catches you by surprise.. you hear Christian Bale speaking.. i dont even wanna try to remember what he said cuz it would end up sounding lame.. but you do seem Batman.. for a split second flash.. and i think it was just enough to raise some goosebumps..

For me, the best teaser trailer would have to be the first Spiderman teaser.. its a shame they had to stop airing it after 9/11.. i was in the movie theater when it showed.. i think during the showing of Final Fantasy (UGH.. 100 bucks i'll never see again) when that trailer went on.. starting with the bank heist.. no one knew what was going on.. seemed like another action movie.. then the moment the words "This Summer" (I love it when they say that) you heard the bass line from the song they used, "I wanna take you on a roller coaster" and the webslinger came into view, the whole movie house errupted into a roar! those geeks in the front row were like.. "Pants... meet shit!"

Second place would go to the teaser of the Hulk.. the line was classic.. "when i can't fight it anymore.. when i totally lose control.. I like it." Then see him transform only through his eyes.. then the sink smashes through the house.. too bad the movie didn't live up to expectations.. i mean.. Hulk was cool and all.. but a Killer Poodle as one of the villians? you gotta be kidding me!


Shaken, Not Stirred

Speaking of Bana.. Eric Bana... hehe.. He just recently got signed up as the New James Bond.. he's an extremely gifted actor, as his performances in Black Hawk Down, Hulk and Troy has proven.. and i'm pretty sure he'll pull off the legendary secret agent of her Majesty's Secret Service.. i'm glad they didnt go with the "Orlando Bloom as a young 007" idea.. supposedly during his teen years.. sounds corny..