MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(Hows THAT for a Bad Santa??)

BIG NIGHT

Things have been tough for me recently.. physically.. emotionally.. and mentally.. due to the many facets of my life.. i've realized that when you're involved in the entertainment biz.. it just doesn't become your work.. it becomes your life. Of course i cant really complain because i'm compensated.. no matter how meager a pittance it may be.. but considering how many people i know would kill to be in my position.. i just remind myself that i'm one of the few that managed to break into the field they've always longed to be.. then i simply keep going on..

I knew November was going to be a tough month for me.. but i didn't think it would THAT difficult. For the first time in my short two years in the biz.. i felt like giving up.. like i should just suck it in that this wasn't the life for me..

But the thing is.. this really is what i want.. it's what i've ALWAYS wanted.. but how come now that i'm so close.. i feel further away from my dreams than i ever have in my whole lifetime..?

Things Changed once Pa Siyam showed and was met with postive box office results.. It was during the premiere night where i threw away any thoughts i had of calling it quits.. especially hearing the crowd scream during the scary moments.. (coulda sworn i heard Kookaii) and seeing my name up on the credits..

That night meant alot to me.. and i want to thank everyone that was able to go.. especially the woman i once called "Baby". I wanted her to be there, as my way of showing her that this is what i said i would do someday.. and i did it.. i got my name on the big screen.. that i did reach my dream to some extent.. This is what i wanted to do with her by my side.. but.. i guess it was really not meant to be.. she congratulated me.. told me she didnt like the movie, but was proud of me nevertheless.. hehe..

GROWING UP

Recently i've just been coasting along at work.. just show up so i can pick up my paycheck.. and i didn't wanna be like that.. i wanted to work because i HAVE to work.. but the thing is.. i dont really have to.. get it? so what did i do????

I decided to move out of my house and get my own place

you see, i love my privacy.. as strange as this may sound, i often like being alone.. i dont get that in my house, sadly.. its quite rare my brother ever leaves the room, and though i'm hardly ever home in the first place, i still often feel like i'm a visitor..

and this way.. i NEED to work to pay the rent.. and all my other expenses..

everyone thinks i'm insane.. i dont. I think it's about time that i do it, and hopefully, my brother will follow suit as well..

Where's my new place you ask? (you dint? well i'm gonna tell you anyway) It's still not too far from my old house in Antipolo.. Its in Village East in Cainta.. But its a two bedroom house with a garage, kitchen, sala, cable.. and for the price i got it for.. its a virtual steal, so i really couldnt resist..

My friend was telling me how she knows this guy who got married, but still lives with his mom, made his wife live with his mom.. lived off an allowance.. went out with his friends drinking while his wife worked, and eventually she had a baby.. with another man.. now he's still living with his mom, trying to get younger girls to take the bait.. i guess i was determined to never be seen like that.. be that old and still need my mom to take care of me.. at that age, i feel i should be the one taking care of my mom.. but it was a good wake up call for me.. i haven't been receiving anything from my folks for quite some time now, but nevertheless, i've become more determined to someday be the one to fend for them..

sigh... i'm gonna need to make a fortune if i'm gonna keep up with all my mom's Jerry Yan paraphernalia

:(

If the sun shines in our soul.. does it matter if it rains outside?

So This It What It Feels Like...

Pa - Siyam is finally now showing.. to mixed reviews and strong box office.. so we're pretty happy with the results.. it's funny though.. cuz people either loved it or hated it.. but since it was Rated B by the Cinema Evaluation Board, i thought it would be better recieved critically.. but there have been harsh criticism as well.. i guess if i wanna stay long in this business, i'm gonna have to get used to not being able to please everyone..

i was really happy to see a review in the news paper about Pa - Siyam, by Butch Francisco.. remember him? i found the way he would say " Showwwbizz..... Linggoo.." really annoying before.. hehe..

i read his article, and was pleasantly surprise to see that he was one of the ones who actually got what we were trying to do.. you see.. the intent of Pa Siyam wasn't merely to scare.. but to leave a lasting impression on the viewer even after you leave the theater...

i remember watching the others, and getting that feeling.. even after the movie was over, i wasn't left with the lingering memory of the old lady in my mind.. but i felt the whole revelation of Nicole Kidman and her children being dead really disturbing.

And thats what Pa Siyam was trying to do..

anyways, here's the review from Butch Francisco.. who incidentally, isn't so annoying anymore in my book hehehe...


Something new in the horror genre
STAR BYTES by Butch Francisco
The Philippine Star 12/07/2004


Dying. That is supposed to be the state of the local film industry.

What's killing Philippine cinema are actually the onerous taxes, piracy and the dearth of fresh materials.

For the first two, industry members can still do some finger pointing and blame the government. But lack of new ideas? That is something the industry's creative people can solve - and should solve - by themselves.

Lack of good materials is really a problem - with most filmmakers sticking to formula that had been done over and over again on the screen.

Since it hasn't been offering anything new (save for a few gems here and there like Minsan Pa, for example), it is not surprising that moviegoers stay away from local cinema. And this is frightening because we cannot afford to lose the Philippine movie industry.

Ironically enough, my fear had been taken away by a local horror flick - Pa-siyam by Erik Matti.

Pa-siyam - as our elders already know - is a series of prayers said for nine days for the repose of the soul of a dearly departed. (This practice is explained very well in the film - including when the prayers should start since there is still confusion among us Filipinos regarding this). And I am very pleased the story of Pa-siyam is anchored on this very Filipino tradition of honoring the dead.

Written by Dwight Gaston, Pa-siyam begins with a mother's death that sees the children gathering at the family's ancestral home. Spook time begins on the day they begin the prayers.

Although some viewers may find the movie slow (especially for a horror film), I personally like its pacing because it allows me to take in the other wonderful aspects of the film - like JA Tadena's very brilliant photography done in high definition digital which provides the very eerie atmosphere in this horror movie. Tadena's work is truly world-class and all of a sudden I'm no longer that impressed with the cinematography of The Grudge.

Then, there's the magnificent production design of Richard Somes - with practically every detail carefully studied. The choice of setting is also perfect - an old, decaying but still handsome house that is said to be really haunted.

Tadena's cinematography, Somes' production design and the other technical aspects (Von de Guzman's music is also beautiful and yet unobtrusive) complement the very creatively written script of Gaston.

More than a horror film, Pa-siyam is actually a family drama that teaches everyone to take care of our elders. The horror elements to me really just come in as a bonus - but what a marvelous bonus it is.

Actually, I've long been disappointed with our local horror flicks because a lot of these resort to cheap scare tactics. But Pa-siyam is different - oh so different. It attacks the viewers psychologically and some of the images (not necessarily of ghosts and ghouls) haunt you even after the film's end.

Of course, it's not like Feng Shui, which has a fast pacing. Between the two, Feng Shui is still a lot scarier as a horror movie. But Pa-siyam leaves a deeper impact in the mind and heart of the moviegoer.

Sure, it's not a horror flick that spooks you in every scene, but the scary moments - when they come - are really quiet frightening. Pa-siyam is not a perfect film, but it contributes something new to the local film genre.

On a scale of one to 10, Pa-siyam - as a horror flick (and an intelligent one) scores a nine.

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