2004: The Year That Was

i actually typed this at the start of the year but never got around to posting it..

This was the year that were i was able to make many of my dreams into Reality. (No pun intended) It came with a heavy price though.. Last January 8 (the day after my birthday), marked one year to the day that, after four years.. the woman i once called "baby", and i parted ways..

i'm not gonna go all Kris Aquino on you and broadcast the highs and lows of my love life, but it really was a roller coaster ride.. it was the second most difficult thing i've ever had to do.. (with the most difficult thing being losing her that first time)

I had a nice, simple Birthday celebration with my family.. i actually had work on that day.. my directorial debut as a mall show director.. all the way at Dasmarinas, Cavite.. i got back home around 9 pm, and i was really happy to see that my family actually prepared a little something for me.. i was thinking that we'd be celebrating the day after, but they really waited up.. i was really so happy..

I have to admit, after she and i broke up, Things have been simpler for me now.. i can focus more on work.. i finally finished work in a movie.. Pa Siyam was a hit.. i was part of the staging of several concerts, and now, i'm currently directing mall shows for Sarah Geronimo and Bea Alonzo.. not exactly where i wanted to go, but i'm a very patient man.. I'll get there..

I finally moved out of my house and got my own place.. My family has been really great about it.. we had a painting party last weekend.. now my place is good to go! kinda weird being alone, but at the same time, i enjoy it..

another nice story coming up.. hehe..

Last Jan 15 i had a mall show in Cebu.. i came back first flight on the 16th, and went straight to another show.. i was kinda frustrated cuz i didn't have time to fix up my place.. and my mom said she was kinda tamad to do it.. so i really didn't know when i'd be able to move in.. so i decided to check out my place first thing the next day before i went to work... it turns out, the whole time i was in cebu, my family.. meaning my mom, ryan, raquel, and my yaya kit.. spent the whole weekend fixing and cleaning up my place! when i got there, it was spotless! i could not believe my eyes! and when i entered, there they were to greet me! apparently they were waiting the day before, but since i couldn't go visit because of my show, they just decided to wake up 5 am in order to get there before me!

*hallmark moment alert*

i really am blessed to have such wonderful people as my family.. they've been really supportive of me and my career.. after the hell i've been through this month.. i just stop and remember them, and i think to myself, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world"

Now about my house... ya'll are invited!!! hehe

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(Hows THAT for a Bad Santa??)

BIG NIGHT

Things have been tough for me recently.. physically.. emotionally.. and mentally.. due to the many facets of my life.. i've realized that when you're involved in the entertainment biz.. it just doesn't become your work.. it becomes your life. Of course i cant really complain because i'm compensated.. no matter how meager a pittance it may be.. but considering how many people i know would kill to be in my position.. i just remind myself that i'm one of the few that managed to break into the field they've always longed to be.. then i simply keep going on..

I knew November was going to be a tough month for me.. but i didn't think it would THAT difficult. For the first time in my short two years in the biz.. i felt like giving up.. like i should just suck it in that this wasn't the life for me..

But the thing is.. this really is what i want.. it's what i've ALWAYS wanted.. but how come now that i'm so close.. i feel further away from my dreams than i ever have in my whole lifetime..?

Things Changed once Pa Siyam showed and was met with postive box office results.. It was during the premiere night where i threw away any thoughts i had of calling it quits.. especially hearing the crowd scream during the scary moments.. (coulda sworn i heard Kookaii) and seeing my name up on the credits..

That night meant alot to me.. and i want to thank everyone that was able to go.. especially the woman i once called "Baby". I wanted her to be there, as my way of showing her that this is what i said i would do someday.. and i did it.. i got my name on the big screen.. that i did reach my dream to some extent.. This is what i wanted to do with her by my side.. but.. i guess it was really not meant to be.. she congratulated me.. told me she didnt like the movie, but was proud of me nevertheless.. hehe..

GROWING UP

Recently i've just been coasting along at work.. just show up so i can pick up my paycheck.. and i didn't wanna be like that.. i wanted to work because i HAVE to work.. but the thing is.. i dont really have to.. get it? so what did i do????

I decided to move out of my house and get my own place

you see, i love my privacy.. as strange as this may sound, i often like being alone.. i dont get that in my house, sadly.. its quite rare my brother ever leaves the room, and though i'm hardly ever home in the first place, i still often feel like i'm a visitor..

and this way.. i NEED to work to pay the rent.. and all my other expenses..

everyone thinks i'm insane.. i dont. I think it's about time that i do it, and hopefully, my brother will follow suit as well..

Where's my new place you ask? (you dint? well i'm gonna tell you anyway) It's still not too far from my old house in Antipolo.. Its in Village East in Cainta.. But its a two bedroom house with a garage, kitchen, sala, cable.. and for the price i got it for.. its a virtual steal, so i really couldnt resist..

My friend was telling me how she knows this guy who got married, but still lives with his mom, made his wife live with his mom.. lived off an allowance.. went out with his friends drinking while his wife worked, and eventually she had a baby.. with another man.. now he's still living with his mom, trying to get younger girls to take the bait.. i guess i was determined to never be seen like that.. be that old and still need my mom to take care of me.. at that age, i feel i should be the one taking care of my mom.. but it was a good wake up call for me.. i haven't been receiving anything from my folks for quite some time now, but nevertheless, i've become more determined to someday be the one to fend for them..

sigh... i'm gonna need to make a fortune if i'm gonna keep up with all my mom's Jerry Yan paraphernalia

:(

If the sun shines in our soul.. does it matter if it rains outside?

So This It What It Feels Like...

Pa - Siyam is finally now showing.. to mixed reviews and strong box office.. so we're pretty happy with the results.. it's funny though.. cuz people either loved it or hated it.. but since it was Rated B by the Cinema Evaluation Board, i thought it would be better recieved critically.. but there have been harsh criticism as well.. i guess if i wanna stay long in this business, i'm gonna have to get used to not being able to please everyone..

i was really happy to see a review in the news paper about Pa - Siyam, by Butch Francisco.. remember him? i found the way he would say " Showwwbizz..... Linggoo.." really annoying before.. hehe..

i read his article, and was pleasantly surprise to see that he was one of the ones who actually got what we were trying to do.. you see.. the intent of Pa Siyam wasn't merely to scare.. but to leave a lasting impression on the viewer even after you leave the theater...

i remember watching the others, and getting that feeling.. even after the movie was over, i wasn't left with the lingering memory of the old lady in my mind.. but i felt the whole revelation of Nicole Kidman and her children being dead really disturbing.

And thats what Pa Siyam was trying to do..

anyways, here's the review from Butch Francisco.. who incidentally, isn't so annoying anymore in my book hehehe...


Something new in the horror genre
STAR BYTES by Butch Francisco
The Philippine Star 12/07/2004


Dying. That is supposed to be the state of the local film industry.

What's killing Philippine cinema are actually the onerous taxes, piracy and the dearth of fresh materials.

For the first two, industry members can still do some finger pointing and blame the government. But lack of new ideas? That is something the industry's creative people can solve - and should solve - by themselves.

Lack of good materials is really a problem - with most filmmakers sticking to formula that had been done over and over again on the screen.

Since it hasn't been offering anything new (save for a few gems here and there like Minsan Pa, for example), it is not surprising that moviegoers stay away from local cinema. And this is frightening because we cannot afford to lose the Philippine movie industry.

Ironically enough, my fear had been taken away by a local horror flick - Pa-siyam by Erik Matti.

Pa-siyam - as our elders already know - is a series of prayers said for nine days for the repose of the soul of a dearly departed. (This practice is explained very well in the film - including when the prayers should start since there is still confusion among us Filipinos regarding this). And I am very pleased the story of Pa-siyam is anchored on this very Filipino tradition of honoring the dead.

Written by Dwight Gaston, Pa-siyam begins with a mother's death that sees the children gathering at the family's ancestral home. Spook time begins on the day they begin the prayers.

Although some viewers may find the movie slow (especially for a horror film), I personally like its pacing because it allows me to take in the other wonderful aspects of the film - like JA Tadena's very brilliant photography done in high definition digital which provides the very eerie atmosphere in this horror movie. Tadena's work is truly world-class and all of a sudden I'm no longer that impressed with the cinematography of The Grudge.

Then, there's the magnificent production design of Richard Somes - with practically every detail carefully studied. The choice of setting is also perfect - an old, decaying but still handsome house that is said to be really haunted.

Tadena's cinematography, Somes' production design and the other technical aspects (Von de Guzman's music is also beautiful and yet unobtrusive) complement the very creatively written script of Gaston.

More than a horror film, Pa-siyam is actually a family drama that teaches everyone to take care of our elders. The horror elements to me really just come in as a bonus - but what a marvelous bonus it is.

Actually, I've long been disappointed with our local horror flicks because a lot of these resort to cheap scare tactics. But Pa-siyam is different - oh so different. It attacks the viewers psychologically and some of the images (not necessarily of ghosts and ghouls) haunt you even after the film's end.

Of course, it's not like Feng Shui, which has a fast pacing. Between the two, Feng Shui is still a lot scarier as a horror movie. But Pa-siyam leaves a deeper impact in the mind and heart of the moviegoer.

Sure, it's not a horror flick that spooks you in every scene, but the scary moments - when they come - are really quiet frightening. Pa-siyam is not a perfect film, but it contributes something new to the local film genre.

On a scale of one to 10, Pa-siyam - as a horror flick (and an intelligent one) scores a nine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Director's Notes and Reflections - Pa-Siyam
Erik Matti
November 5, 2004 (11:00 pm - 3:30 am)
Ortigas Center, Pasig City

OUR OWN SWEAT AND BLOOD

About selling the movie, I want it to go the "exploitative" route but in a more sincere and honest way. It's like "we are poor but passionate about movies" kinda thing. I want people to know that out of our own sweat and blood, we came up with this small movie. It's our response in the face of what they say is a "dying movie industry." The concept is fresh and original. It's not a rip-off of a Japanese horror movie or an American movie.

What keeps the Filipino movies in the theaters now is the group of working class people who, after work, want to watch a movie. It's not the masa who watches Filipino movies anymore.

HOW PA-SIYAM WAS BORNE

I'll tell you first how the story of Pa-Siyam was born.. After going through the international film festivals through Prosti and Gagamboy, I saw how people abroad like the festival programmers, the journalists, and the viewers.. I saw how they think about Filipino movies.

When you hear what journalists and critics have to say about Filipino movies, manliliit ka. They (programmers) are scared to get Filipino movies because we are famous for homosexual movies. All other Asian countries are getting noticed globally but the Philippines.

Serious Asian movie fanatics have this to say about Filipino movies: the reason why Filipino movies are strong in markets like Toronto is because they think of our films as novelty films. For example, if you want to see a house that doesn't look like a house, go see a Third World Filipino movie, if you want male dancers rubbing oil on their bodies, watch a Pinoy movie.

I was in Italy for the exhibition of Gagamboy. And after looking at the other movies there, I thought, "Siyet, i have to do something fresh and universal too!". Looking at the Korean or Chinese movies makes you get jealous of their work. Their movies are true to their cultures but with a very strong universal theme that holds their stories.

That's when I started cooking the idea about the story of two people separating in two weeks time. The lead actress, the wife, says to her husband, 'I'm leaving you. I'm just waiting for the closing of the school year..' So it's a study of how two people separate.

I asked Cherry Pie Picache and Joel Torre, if they would do it for free sa akin? I told them most of the scenes would be improvisational. And they agreed! They said, 'Sige!" I was supposed to do the movie out of my own money.

Naikuwento ko kay Dondon that I wanted to do this movie out of my own money. Nakalimutan ko rin because I got busy. I'm still finishing the outline of the movie actually.

And then Dondon asked me, 'Di ba gagawa tayo ng movie sa company natin?' That's when we started working..

At first, we wanted to do a movie about a hitman na may sex and violence. The story is a very Pinoy set-up of a hitman. The premise was it's difficult to catch these hitmen and the reason is because they're always hired from prison. After they're done with the job, they go back to prison. So you keep looking for them but you can't find them because they are already in prison.

We didn't pursue that concept because SM came up with the 'no R-18' policy. So we said, let's just do a horror movie.

I've always wanted to do a horror movie. Dondon and I even had a concept before entitled Feng Shui about the unluckiest house and presented that to Mother. We sat down with Roy Iglesias for the story. But Mother did not push through with the project. Sabi niya, 'Ayokong gawin ang movie about Feng Shui na horror. Magagalit ang mga Instik sa akin diyan!' So nawala iyong Feng Shui idea. And then we heard Star Cinema was doing a Feng Shui movie.

HORROR WITH CERTAIN LIMITATIONS

So we decided that the movie would be a horror movie. Before we started writing the script, we had to think of a story that would work around certain limitations. First was that the movie had to be shot within a short period of time. Second it would be shot on high-definition (HD) or digital video (DV) format. I really wanted the mini-DV format but HD was more accessible cost-wise. Third, we had to assemble actors and staff who would agree to be paid later on.

Noong nabanggit ko kay Don-don iyong project about the improvisational movie on a couple separating, akala niya that it would be done under our company, Reality Entertainment. I originally intended to produce the project myself because it is a very personal movie but then when I thought about it, it would really be wiser to produce the movie under Reality Entertainment and make a more commercial project. In that way, there would be less risk on my part financially. What I am saying is, if i do my personal movie, it's a concept that's harder to sell. But then if someone else - other than my self - is also in the project, then I would be forced to work hard to make it work commercially rather than come up with a personal movie like Lav Diaz' long masterpieces that even if not released theatrically, ok lang sa kanya as long as he was able to do it. And if the movie becomes successful, then we could go and do other projects under a similar set-up. Then, I can do the movies that I really want to do.

Back to the script.. we decided that the story should be universal but truly Pinoy. When I say universal, it's such that even if you're from Timbuktu, you would still know what the filmmakers are talking about.

TWISTS UPON TWISTS UPON TWISTS!

So the first premise we thought of was about a closely-knit family of which the mother dies. There's a belief that if you don't embalm the dead, the dead comes back. So because this family loves the mother so much, the surviving members didn't want to embalm her. And then she comes back and they were happy. Then bad things begin to happen. Yon pala, the father is also brought back from the grave..

We didn't pursue this first story because it sounded it was kinda forcing it through. It was difficult to complete the plotline without making it contrived.

And then we thought of the Pa-Siyam angle. It's partly inspired by the Da Vinci Code.. you think the story is this and then - boom! It's not what you thought it was! It's twists upon twists upon twists! The audience keeps guessing all the time what's going to happen. More than being a horror movie, there is a strong mystery angle to the story. A horror movie with a whodunnit angle.

Pa-Siyam is my first horror movie. I've always wanted to do a horror movie. I've done horror for television, Kagat ng Dilim which was even ahead of Nginig and Wag Kukurap by four years. And it's only now that they are starting to copy the format.

Making a horror movie is a risk. It needs careful manipulation of the audience. Careful in the sense that if you go overboard on the horror scenes in the wanting to scare your audience to death para sulit ang bayad nila, then you'll overdo the horror and leaves you open to resorting to cheap tricks. The risk is that, as filmmakers, we want it horrifying but we don’t also want any of the cheap tricks like strong music to jolt the audience or a hand grabs your protagonist 'yon pala kapatid niya. i want a classic horror movie that's based on a truly horror story and not just a bag of so many horror tricks that if you take those out and look into the story, you'll find out na hindi pala talaga siya horror. Complicated. It is a complicated genre to handle because you have to be constantly ahead of your audience but you shouldn't be fooling them too much to be condascending towards them thereby alienating them.

THE SCARIEST HORROR MOVIE

The scariest movie I ever saw was Rosemary's Baby. That's a horror movie that doesn't manipulate the audience with cheap tricks. It's about a childless young couple who meets an old couple and then suddenly their lives improve.. The wife becomes pregnant. The husband who's a struggling actor suddenly gets a big break. Good things suddenly happen to them, it's so eerie.

So the story of Pa-Siyam is about a mother who dies. Previously, she was left in the care of the caretakers - an old married couple and their daughter. One day, she was found dead by the caretakers. So the children were informed and they come back to the province to bury the mother. The eldest child, who is played by Roderick, returns from Saudi Arabia.

So the children bury their mother, after which most of them want to leave. Roderick tells his siblings, "No, I'm staying.. The least we could do is to pray for our mother.' Eventually, the others also decide to stay. They have the pa-siyam which is nine days of novena prayer for the soul of the departed.

And then strange things start to happen...

"SUNTOK SA BUWAN NA MAPAPAYAG NAMIN SI RODERICK…"

The cast was assembled when the story was already written. Suntok sa buwan na mapapayag namin si Roderick. We thought he wouldn't accept the project. But when I pitched to story to him over dinner, he said, "I'll do it." He particularly loved the family angle of the movie. It is famous in showbiz circles that Kuya Dick is very close to his mom.

Cherry Pie became part of Pa-Siyam because of the talk we had when I told her about the first project, the one about two people separating. But we also had to talk to her manager Ed Instrella; we pitched to him the entire movie.

Yul - I've always wanted to work with him. We sold the idea to Yul's manager Maryo J. delos Reyes who let Yul do the project for us.

Pa-Siyam is seen as an ensemble movie. There are no bigger roles. All the characters are equally important. They're working together for one goal.

IMPROVISATION ON THE SET

It's a very story-driven horror movie.

It's all improv sa set. Everyone helped each other develop the outcome of the scene. This movie could not have been done if we did not deal with good actors.

I've never done a movie in nine days. With the short shooting period, I had to device a way to fast track shooting so i can do a lot of scenes in a day. Since our HD camera comes with a steadicam package, I decided to shoot most of the scenes in one long shot. And on HD, dahil tape lang siya, I can shoot ten minute sequences with no cuts. Except of course on the horror sequences where it needed more camera coverages. That's why I wanted a cast na magaling. Walang tanga or bopol. Otherwise, if i shoot with an ensemble cast and there is one actor that's not good, I'll constantly be retaking long takes and that poses a problem with the tight shooting schedule. And somehow, inspired din ang mga actors namin sa set e kaya ang sarap ng shooting.

This movie is not unreal or fantastic. It's very grounded to real, human drama. The theme is very universal. It's about family, taking care of parents and uncovering family secrets. Walang horror for horror's sake; all the horror you see is tied up in the end to the horror story.

A MOVIE THAT IS CLOSE TO MY HEART

After Mano Po 2, I swore that I will never make a movie that is not close to my heart. Pa-Siyam is very meaningful to me because it's a story that I decided to work on. It may not be autobiographical but it is a genre I'd like to try my hand on.

I think the only way for the Filipino film industry to survive is to go global. There is no future if we continue to make films only for the Philippine market. Filipino filmmakers should be challenge to do movies without looking down on the audience which is what our major studios are constantly asking our filmmakers to do in their movies. They always presume that the audience will have to be spoon fed every information in the story. I love movies that interacts with the audience. That makes the audience think and feel alongside the movie as it unfolds in the movie screen. I really think that everybody should go global. If we're stuck in our own market, the market is simply too small and too Hollywood oriented for our stuff to make financially and critically.

We're not trying to come up with an experimental movie. I don't do art house movies. I want my movies to be enjoyed by as many people as possible. I don't want to do movies that only my mother can appreciate because she has to as a sensitive parent. With the million and 1 horror movies that has been done, we tried so much to come up with something fresh and original.

We are offering the audience our 'small' film. If the Filipino market embraces Pa-Siyam, it could be a start of a new wave of Filipino movies. In our own little way, we would like to bring the Filipino movies globally. Of course, if it appeals to everyone (which I am almost definite, it will)
We are pleading, we are making a call to the audience.

If you're sick and tired of seeing the same kind of Filipino movies, here is something new.

******

Behind The Scenes



Direk with the Zayco Family.. this was one of the first scenes shot.. The girl in the red shirt is Michelle, the A.D.



Direk with Maricar.. showing her how to use her "Jazz Hands" hehe.. Michelle in the background.. guy with the long braided hair is Donald.. as you can see, pretty much everyone in the crew had their hair braided.. including me hehehe




The "Zayco" family rehearsing the epic 12 minute steadicam scene. Yup.. 12 minutes STRAIGHT.. no cuts.. 1 take! And YES, Cristine is a hottie.. hehe


I'll post more soon!

....And Thats a Wrap!


And with those magic words, shooting was over... it didn't sink into me untill the whole cast and crew errupted into a roar.. and the cast began hugging everyone.. it was an amazing experience.. and all those sleepless nights were truly worth it..

As you can see the Pa Siyam experience of mine has kicked into full gear.. its been out all over the news.. all those talk shows.. might be coming out in "NGINIG" soon.. all i can say is that i'm glad to have been a part of it.. memories that will last me a lifetime...

hehehe.. Senti na ba?

I'll post pics soon :)

The Toy

Disclaimer: This entry has a serious amount of gushing and Yabang in it so you're going to have to bear with me.

I've never been one of those guys interested in gadgets.. mainly because for a good part of my life, i couldn't really afford them.. so i would get frustrated.. but i've always had the knack of pretending the problem doesn't exist..

Then, being the magazine lover that i am (i got another story for that later), i decided to pick up T3 every month.. from then on, i decided that i would save up to get myself a gadget. At first, i had my heart set on getting the Nokia 7610. Then i decided i would get the Next Base Tablet DVD player. Followed by the Sony Clie Peg -UX50 or something like that.. then a laptop.. long story short, i couldn't decide..

The purchase of my toy would mark a significant event in my life.. simply because i have never bought anything expensive for myself.. ever. sure i dont mind spending alot to go out to eat.. in that aspect, i "treat myself".. but i have nothing to show for when it comes to buying ONE expensive thing.. i've gotten something expensive for my EX.. for my Mom.. and even for my dad.. but nothing for me.. and after working one year non stop.. i decided that it was time to treat myself.

Thank god for T3.. which eventually featured what would be my very first expensive purchase. Forget the phone. Screw the Mini DVD player. To Hell with the PDA.

Behold...



*Enter Gregorian Chanting Here*

Yes thats right, thats my new baby right there! the Archos AV400.

*Sigh*... isn't she a beauty?

What can it do, you ask?
(you didn't? so what! i'm telling you anyway)


"GUSHING ALERT"

First of all, it can record up to 40 DVD's, 1,000 mp3's, record from TV or VHS, store pictures and assorted files.. and you can even set it on a scheduler so you can record when you're not home! Finally, the toy i've been waiting for.. which is absolutely perfect for me.. suits my every need..

Now I dont have to worry about waiting for hours somewhere or going to far off places..

Disclaimer: Warned ya i was gonna make yabang

oh yes.. I Have given my Happiness a name.. and it is "Archos"

BREATHE AGAIN

As i had earlier predicted, i wasn't able to post for more than a month.. shooting finally started, and i officially entered the world of show biz.. and BOY did i feel like i was waaaayyy over my head..

i've worked in a movie in the past.. but i wasn't really given much responsibility at that time.. but now i'm 2nd A.D. for this one.. its not so much difficult than it is exhausting. My job delegation consists more of setting up the next location, dealing with the acting of the actors, and basically doing the legwork that the Director or the A.D. need done..

Imagine doing all that from 5 am to 5 am the next day.

Though it is hard work.. i can safely say that i enjoy every minute of it.. and there's nothing else i'd rather be doing.. I learned alot of things too.. dealing with a powerhouse cast such as ours.. lots of different personalities.. it was very interesting..

One actress who is known for her Contrabida roles.. in real life has turned out to be one of the sweetest women you'll ever meet in your whole life.. which is funny because that was pretty much the trend for the whole cast.. we expected a bunch of prima donnas, but in actuality, we were quite fortunate to have such lovely people as our actors..

We are currently working on the trailer, and hopefully it will be out soon.. our release date is in november.. and we have two more shooting days.. including the final one on the 18th, where we will have a cast party.. i'll try to post some pics of that :)


"THE JUDGE WILL UNDERSTAND"

That is the term alot of people have been saying to me recently.. its a joke i cracked about one of our actress'.. cuz she has everyone around her drooling when she passes by.. but she's only.. about.. umm.. i dunno.. 17? or was it 16?

ok fine she's 15, ok?

She came to the set on the first day, and refused to speak to anyone. i had met her before, since she was the sister of one of our talents (yes, an actress too), and had gained fame on one of those reality star search shows.. she seemed really suplada back then.. and she seemed really suplada now at the shoot.

Funny thing is.. at the second day of the shooting.. she was so talkative and so kulit.. next thing i know.. she and i are laughing and getting along great.. it seems i'm the only one she talks to or jokes around with.. so of course the guy around me react.. jailbait.. stuff like that.. hehe..

Hence the line...

but dont worry.. i wouldn't dare..

dude that just ain't right.. hehe

BLACK


I know some day you'll have a beautiful life.... I know you'll be a star.. in somebody elses sky but why.... why.... can't it be in mine....?

The Calm Before The Storm

This was the first weekend in a long time that i was able to stay home for BOTH days.. which was good because.. ( i know i've probably said this before but..) this will be the busiest month of my life..

finally the dream has been realized.. i will be 2nd A.D. for the next movie of Direk.. and i'm really excited.. he hasn't done a movie since the filmfest of last year so he's pretty eager to get back in the game himself.. it'll be a horror flick.. and from the first drafts of the treatment it looks pretty promising.. very pinoy BUT without the cheese that goes with it.. it wont be shake rattle and roll, i promise you that.. hehehe

So i guess in the end.. the gamble paid off.. but was it worth it?

i dunno.. maybe.. maybe not..

but it's something that i know for a fact that i need to find out for myself..


MY SPACE

if anyone is a member, you can add me up.. http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1097087
pretty cool.. lots more options than Friendster.. but i'll prolly never use em hehe...

i didn't wanna sign up in friendster before.. i always found it kinda corny.. chuck and grace were very kulit about it even.. eventually i did.. well.. my ex took the liberty of signing me up.. then thats when i saw why it was so popular.. i didn't sign up so much to meet people, but i was able to get in touch with friends i had lost touch with for TEN YEARS... i thought that to be truly amazing.. so for all its "kabaduyan" and all that.. to me, friendster proved its worth..

wanna add me? hehe

The Question

"I'm gonna ask you a question.. and it's a good one okay? So think about it.. When two people love each other.. REALLY love each other.. but they just can't seem to get it together.. When do you get to that point where enough is enough?"


"Never."


- The Mexican (2001)


Do you believe that? I do. Or at least.. I used to. After watching the movie "The Mexican", that was the resounding question that rang through my mind. I think anyone who has ever been in a relationship has asked themselves that very question at one point or another. How much is a person actually supposed to endure? Who determines if its not working anymore?

I used to believe in the "love will conquer all" philosophy.. "If its meant to be, its meant to be.." & and all those other quotes people send through the cell phone.. Then it bit me in the butt. I've gotten burnt by love so badly.. That I doubt I'd ever feel that same way about a woman ever again.. Which is sad because that's something I was really proud of.. There aren't very many things I'm very good at.. I suck at math. I cant draw. I don't dance. But there's one thing I know for sure...

Loving her is something I know I did right.

I did it truly, and purely.. I gave everything I had.. Sure, I know it wasn't perfect, but I also know that I wasn't all that horrible either.. and that is why when I lost her the first time, I felt lost.. I didn't know who or what I was supposed to be anymore.. Now that its over, I'd be lying if I didn't say.. That not a day goes by since we separated that I do not think of her.

that's right. I still think about her. Everyday. I wonder what she's doing.. If she has enough to eat.. If she gets home safely.. Those little things that made my day complete when I find out she's ok.. Yes, I do miss her dearly..

But what's done is done.

Some words when spoken...Can't be taken back...

I would describe the way I handle the first break up.. Much like a kid who wanted to go play, but his mother wouldn't let him, until he cleaned his room. Instead of placing his toys neatly into his shelves, he stuffed everything into his closet, without bothering to sort it out. With much effort, he was able to shut the door, locking away all his mess. Then after awhile, once that door is opened again, everything just came bursting out, leaving the little boy in a pile of toys to sort out. That is what happened to me. I said I had to get her back, and deal with the ramifications later. The thing is, when it was time to face the problems.. Even when I had her already.. It was too difficult to sort out.. I didn't know where to begin.

He Who Forgets, Will Be Destined To Remember..

Where do I go from here? Well.. I'm not all lost.. I don't want to come off as a victim or anything.. In fact, the truth is, I'm enjoying how my life is going now.. but is it the same? No. Nowhere near the VICINITY of the term "The same". Is it bad? Not at all.. Just different..

But am I truly happy?

Now THAT'S the question.

GGGRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had a really long post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A Story i've been writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Typed up the Prologue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Computer rebooted just before i pressed PUBLISH POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Happy Birthday JCT


Please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you have meant to me.

He Who Must Not Be Named is.....

Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire looks to be another blockbuster for Warner brothers.. and i'm really excited about it.. the role of Valdemort is extremely crucial.. thats why i went bonkers when i found out this morning that the role went to.. none other than Ralph Feinnes!!!!! In my previous posts, i mention him as someone perfect to play Sirius Black.. but now that i think about it.. he'd an even better VALDEMORT!

i cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of the Dark Knight...

I saw the teaser trailer of "Batman Begins" last week.. and it looks pretty impressive.. i've always liked teasers that dont give out too much.. or catches you by surprise.. you hear Christian Bale speaking.. i dont even wanna try to remember what he said cuz it would end up sounding lame.. but you do seem Batman.. for a split second flash.. and i think it was just enough to raise some goosebumps..

For me, the best teaser trailer would have to be the first Spiderman teaser.. its a shame they had to stop airing it after 9/11.. i was in the movie theater when it showed.. i think during the showing of Final Fantasy (UGH.. 100 bucks i'll never see again) when that trailer went on.. starting with the bank heist.. no one knew what was going on.. seemed like another action movie.. then the moment the words "This Summer" (I love it when they say that) you heard the bass line from the song they used, "I wanna take you on a roller coaster" and the webslinger came into view, the whole movie house errupted into a roar! those geeks in the front row were like.. "Pants... meet shit!"

Second place would go to the teaser of the Hulk.. the line was classic.. "when i can't fight it anymore.. when i totally lose control.. I like it." Then see him transform only through his eyes.. then the sink smashes through the house.. too bad the movie didn't live up to expectations.. i mean.. Hulk was cool and all.. but a Killer Poodle as one of the villians? you gotta be kidding me!


Shaken, Not Stirred

Speaking of Bana.. Eric Bana... hehe.. He just recently got signed up as the New James Bond.. he's an extremely gifted actor, as his performances in Black Hawk Down, Hulk and Troy has proven.. and i'm pretty sure he'll pull off the legendary secret agent of her Majesty's Secret Service.. i'm glad they didnt go with the "Orlando Bloom as a young 007" idea.. supposedly during his teen years.. sounds corny..

The Book Worm


One of my New Year's Resolutions this year was to read more.. you see, i've never been much of a reader.. (pretty ironic for someone who likes to write, dontcha think?) Ok, i've read the all ten installments of the Belgariad and Mallorean series by David Eddings.. as well as the sequels it spawned afterwards, "Belgarath The Sorcerer " and " Polgara The Sorceress ".. And i managed to read the first two books of "The Lord of the Rings", not to mention all five books of Harry Potter.. And i gotta say, two of the coolest, and most underrated books i've ever read has been "I Am Legend" by Richard Matheson, and "The List of Seven" by Mark Frost. Both seriously kick ass..

Anyway, I took a look at the first two New Year's resolutions i drew up..

1. Lose Weight
2. Read more

Making sure i fulfill at least ONE.. i decided to go with the more attainable choice..
One my way home, i passed by "A Different Bookstore" in Eastwood.. (and yes, i passed by Haggen Daz too.. effectively diminishing any chance i might have had of fulfilling resolution #1)

Being that i hadn't read a book since "Order of the Phoenix", and the "Half Blood Prince" didn't have a release date yet, i decided to go for something along those lines.. i had read in CNN about a book that they reviewed to be comparable to Potter.. but i couldn't seem to find it anywhere here in the Philippines.. fortunately, A Different Bookstore lived up to its name, and i walked out with a copy of "The Thief Lord" by Cornelia Funke.

It was quite good, however it was dwarfed by the Juggernaut that is Harry Potter.. (an unfair comparison though, because they dont have very much in common) so when i was done, i was looking for something else to whet my newly found appetite for literature. Proud that for the first time in ages i was able to read something that didn't bear the initials " F", "H" and "M" on the cover, i headed back to "A Different Bookstore".

I browsed around, looking for something that would captivate me.. something that i would totally be engrossed with.. since i hadn't read a book that kept me mesmerized in a long time..

Then i bought the Da Vinci Code.

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is by far one of the BEST books i have ever read. Every page had my heart pounding.. and Dan Brown knows exactly when to end the chapter, leaving you hanging on the edge of your seat.. the revelations the book made, were simply astonishing.. even if it were just fiction.. you can tell the man went through great lengths to make this novel a masterpiece.. in tagalog.. "Kinareer".. hehe

Now i'm at a loss.. i dont know what to read next.. what can top this?

sigh.. any suggestions?

HOW YOU DOINNNNNN??
 
I Finally got to watch the pilot episode of the much awaited spin off from "Friends".. AND I WAS NOT DISSAPOINTED!
 
Of course i'm biased, cuz i'm a huge fan of Friends.. (i even have the trivia game.. yes i'm a dork, i know) but still.. the pilot of "Joey" proved that Mr. Tribiani can hold a show on his own..
 
I'll be the first to admit that the chemistry of the cast isn't as tight... yet.. but what do you expect from the first episode, right?  Save for the girl playing Joey's love interest, Ashley Scott (Huntress on "Birds of Prey").. i found the characters of Drea de Matteo (Sopranos) who plays Joey's sister, and Paulo Constanzo (Road Trip), who plays her son, quite promising.. they both seemed to play off Matt Le Blanc really well.. The episode had moments where we were nearly on the floor cracking up.. i'm looking forward to seeing the whole season.. we'll find out Joey fares without his old "Friends" when the show premieres this September..
 
all i can say is that.. me? i'm sold!

 
P.S.
 
 
Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith
 
May 2005

RIP

Marlon Brando

1924-2004